Time

     When I was stationed in England, I wrote a lot of really bad poetry.  Most of it concerned time and how it was the enemy.  Well...it is our enemy, but that's another bad poem waiting to happen.  I still feel at odds with time, but I'm not as depressed about it.
     In England, I was far away from everyone I knew and all I had ever known.  It was a costly venture just to spend a little bit of time on the phone with the ones I loved.  The hours I spent dwelling on time, and how I hated it so, eroded a piece of my soul.  Enter the bad poetry...oh the angst I could draw from bitterness towards time. 
     Looking back, I can see how silly it all was.  I could have made amends with time and enjoyed the time I had.  Not that I have regrets, but I sure could have enjoyed my stay there a lot more than I did.  What did I really have to be bitter about?  I cannot recall.  I was well housed, well warmed and well fed.  Life was actually simple and sweet.
     During this current chapter of my life, I have a lot to be bitter about concerning time and the lack of it I am able to spend with my family.  I could be bitter about all the games and programs I have missed out on being on the road.  But I'm not.  Have I given in to time?  Has time won the battle?  Have I surrendered to time? 
     I don't think that time has won.  I do think technology has eased my hatred of it.  With technology, I don't have to wait so long to talk to the ones I love.  With technology, I can listen and watch from afar.  Technology has certainly been a friend to me...even in countries where technology was less than perfect. 
     So, I still despise time.  I don't think I'll ever make amends there.  I won't make amends there until I walk through the shadow of the valley and meet my maker.  I will be happy when time ceases to exist.  How crazy is that?

Insomnia

It happens without fail when I travel.  It happens at home too, but it sucks more when I travel.  0100 and 0630 wake up.  I have been having frequent bouts of insomnia for as long as I can remember.  The worst period of time was when I was in the Air Force.  I would go several days without much more than a 30 minute nap.  I went to the Doctor at one point.  I was offered meds to take care of it, but told I would always be on them....for the rest of my life.  I was in my very early 20's then.  I didn't want to be strapped to a drug for the rest of my life at that point.  Now that I'm 40, I still can't see being strapped to a drug for the rest of my life.
I have used insomnia to my advantage.  When I travel home from overseas, it typically take 30+ hours.  When I was a traveling tech with the airplane, I would often go 50+ hours with little more than a 30 min nap.  Perhaps it's not insomnia, but just the way I'm made.   I do have more problems sleeping during full moon, which I cannot explain. 
When I get this way, I am usually thinking about a project.  I have no real project going on right now, so I start back up on a fascination of mine.  Motionless power generation using magnets.  I recently saw a Nova episode about fractals and wonder if fractals can make that a possibility.  So I scheme ideas in my head and troubleshoot the different problems that may occur.  I have twelve different design ideas rolling around the noggin just waiting for a rainy day.  Maybe I will attempt to build one someday.
Alright....this did help me get tired.  I will try to go to sleep with visions of motionless power generators buzzing through my brain.

Bitterness toward Airplanes?

     I wouldn't have thought it, but I have some bad feelings against some airplanes.  While here in Mojave at the aircraft bone yard, I got to see some airplanes that I used to work on.  These planes are not in service anymore and mostly stripped of all that was ever good. 
     As I looked at the planes, I instantly got kind of "mad" at the airplanes and took great delight in their poor state.  I was flooded with all of the memories of the times when they broke down, every hour they kept me away from home, every phone call made discussing the maintenance...you name it.  We even gave the airplanes unflattering names.  7whore6 and 7whore0.  I hated those planes.
     After a while, though, I had to remember the safe passage that the two planes brought me.  I flew a lot of places on those planes and quite obviously still here.  I always looked forward to flying on them as well.  740 was always the best A/C to be on to Shanghai.  746 was always a nice ride to Korea and all over the lower 48. 
     Weighing the love/hate...hate still wins.  As much as I hate the airplanes, I still wanted a piece of one of them.  So, I climbed the E&E bay ladder and searched for my trophy of the one I hate the most...746.  I was happy to find the "Exit"sign was still there.  I always thought the Exit sign would taunt me after a very long AOG.  The only way to Exit the A/C for me many times was to make sure it was fixed and airworthy to fly.  I don't know what I'll do with the Exit sign, but I know the wife won't like it.

On the Road again

     My first trip of the year will be to Mojave, California.  I was supposed to be going back to Belgium to conduct some training, but I'll take being somewhat close to home. The one part of the trip that I'm most looking forward to is going to a place called "Little Gourmet'" located in El Segundo.  They have the best Italian food.  Even though I only go there once or twice a year, the owner(Jose) remembers me and my favorite dish...the spaghetti and meatballs...what a way to feel at home in a place far from home. 
     Outside of the creature comforts, I am also looking forward to seeing my friend Jesus again.  It's only been a few months since I last saw Jesus, but he cracks me up and is quite a lively fellow.  He looks like Danny DeVito, which probably cracks me up the most.  We spent a little time in Liege working on a project and it was one of the best times I've had while out and about.
     I hope to remain enthusiastic about this job throughout the year.  I am very blessed to have a job and also very blessed to have places to go that treat me like family when I am away from my own.  I look forward to seeing Jose and his wife as they greet all their patrons with big smiles and good words. 
          So, I will start out with a PMA and see where it takes me from there.  Wish me luck.

Something to occupy my time

This is more for myself than for anyone to look at.  I like to write stuff down from time to time.  This is my new outlet.  Ever since I gave up playing Mafia Wars, I've been looking for something else to do.  We'll see how long it lasts.